Thinking about the future...

Tonight I watched the movie "The Social Network" (yes, I might be a bit tardy in jumping on this bandwagon), which interestingly enough got me thinking about what I wanted to do post-graduation. I have a few plans drawn out, but for the most part, they resemble my arrangement of potential summer plans. It goes something like: I don't necessarily know what I want to do, everything sounds pretty good, but nothing ultimately stands out. But, that's not how I want to approach my future career. In this regard, I really envy my good friend from junior high, Erika(shout out ;)) who is currently double majoring at MIT. While she would probably disagree with me (after all, no one our age has everything figured out), I feel like she, who has always had a passion for math and engineering, has a clearer idea of the kind of work she wants to pursue. At the very least, it will be science-y and something related to engineering/computer science. I also at times envy my pre-med and investment banking friends, who are on a course as set as graduating from high school and eventual matriculatoin into college.

On the other hand, I have a handful of special skills that I know are unique, but I'm not sure how to market. I think my biggest fear is that I know that I won't be unemployed, and so I don't worry about not finding A job, I worry about not finding the RIGHT job, or a job that makes me happy. I know that I can make a lot of money if I wanted to, but my character won't allow it. It's been too brainwashed by Californian hippie doctrine to let me sell my soul to an economics major and a summer internship in private equity. Sometimes, I wish I could reverse this brainwashing. At least then, I might have devoted myself to a clearer pursuit.

My biggest dilemma is that I know that I can do something great (haha, perhaps my problem is high self esteem?), but I'm afraid of falling short of my full potential. I'm also afraid that even though I am in a position to CHOOSE my path, I might choose one that does not make me happy. It's like our summer internships. I KNOW that I will eventually land one--but whether or not I will like it is another story. What if, it is like my internship at REC, which I thought was perfect for me, but ultimately ended up falling short of my expectations?

After watching The Social Network, I had an epiphany. I want to be an entrepreneur and I want to start my own business! When people ask me what I want to do in the future, my answer (even though I pretend it's a joke) is that if I could have everything my way, I would be an inventor. In my ideal, I would invent something simple yet wonderful(!) that while benefiting the world in some way also at the same time generates enough royalties for me to live comfortably forever. Preferably, there will be enough cash for me to start my own foundation/grant the rewards kids for public service and sustainable entrepreneurship.

To invent the perfect invention might be a little bit difficult, but there is nothing wrong with inventing my own "company". I'm a smart kid, I've got some ideas, and I think that if I really cared to pour my heart into something, I can make it work, EVEN if it is through pure determination. Hey, is that my traditional Chinese education kicking in-- 只要功夫深，铁杵磨成针?

I just need to settle on an idea...